Good bye chair - hello adoption mula!
Looking For Spring
7 years ago
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Our first funds
Today marks the day we officially started our adoption fund! I bought this chair for Neil's birthday because we really needed a chair for our computer desk. We had just moved into the house (back in June 2005) and we were pretty much broke. I found it for around $30 and it was one of the most uncomfortable chairs we've owned. Well, after sitting in our garage for about 2 years, this chair was sold on Craig's List for $20! We've been looking around the house for other things to start selling because we definitly have too much stuff.
Good bye chair - hello adoption mula!
Good bye chair - hello adoption mula!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Our first bump
Yesterday I found out that Ethiopia change their adoption process immediately so that adoptive parents would have to travel twice - first to appear in court and met their child and another time to actually get your child and finalize everything. We were thrown for a loop a little bit thinking about how that might change things for us. I can't even IMAGINE already being in the process and then getting word of this change. Especially to those who have their court date right around the corner. I know that every adoption will have it's curve balls and faith building blocks.
Surprisingly it didn't really change too much for us and how we feel about being called to raise a child from Ethiopia. We look at it as an opportunity to travel more, to know more about the counrty and to get to hold our baby even sooner. Of course the idea of leaving our baby behind is heart aching but to kiss and hold them and look them in the eye to SAY "I love you" will be amazing. We'll see who gets to travel because it will probably only be one of us. It will be hard on us both no matter what the decision.
Surprisingly it didn't really change too much for us and how we feel about being called to raise a child from Ethiopia. We look at it as an opportunity to travel more, to know more about the counrty and to get to hold our baby even sooner. Of course the idea of leaving our baby behind is heart aching but to kiss and hold them and look them in the eye to SAY "I love you" will be amazing. We'll see who gets to travel because it will probably only be one of us. It will be hard on us both no matter what the decision.
Friday, March 12, 2010
my hubby
Can I just say that my husband is A-MAZING? Neil, I love you so much and just feel like the most blessed woman to have snatched you up =) God certainly knew how good we'd be for each other. I'm so thankful that we are both 100% ready for this step in our lives because I've read about some others who struggle with convincing their spouse. Not us! God has truly put our forever child in our hearts and I can't wait to really start this journey with you. There will be a lot of valleys but just the moment we will get to hold our beautiful bambino... it will be all worth it in the end. And to think how our family will have stregthened and grown in faith. I can't even fathom what will happen to us the next two years. With God as our guide, I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else but YOU!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Part 2: Why (by Neil)
In my first post I discussed the first reason why we wanted to adopt and focused on "our calling" to adopt. Now I move towards more "concrete" reasons.
As a little brother I was always on the look out for what was "fair". "Shannon got the front seat last time - that's not fair!" "Shannon's been on the phone for an hour - it's not fair!" As I grew older, my concern for fairness changed out of just selfish gain and grew to become a passion for justice for the world around me. As I became educated and grew more aware at the inequities of the global economic system it disturbed and angered me.
A few months back when praying with Claire, I asked for God to help us heal this broken world. Claire immediately interrupted the prayer and said, "Dad, the world isn't broken." I had to be the first to tell her that this world isn't as it should be. I explained that there were many sad and terrible things going on, even as we prayed. You might just think this is a nice example about a child's innocence, but for most of us the immediate world around us "isn't" broken. We're quite comfortable in our air conditioned homes, flat screen HDTV's and wireless internet. Most of us go to sleep well-fed (or over-fed) in our comfortable beds. There is a disconnect between our reality and the reality as experienced by most of our neighbors around the world.
For most of the world, life is hard and frequently, an unforgiving place. I thought about copying and pasting world poverty statistics but sometimes numbers can numb us or even paralyze us with fear that the problem is too big to solve. However, if you are curious about global hunger and global poverty there are many fine web sites that are just a click away, like Oxfam or UNICEF.
To sum up the situation:
Billions of people live on the edge....a minor emergency or loss of a job might crash them into abject poverty.
Billions live without physical security, health care, or basic human and worker rights.
Millions don't know if they will be able to eat today, many of them surviving and living in landfills.
Thousands of children around the world die every single day from hunger or lack of clean water.
Hundreds of thousands, if not over a million of children reside in poverty-stricken countries and are in need of food, education, and most of all, love and hope from two parents that can provide the basics for their lives.
I believe these facts should be unacceptable to all of us. I don't really want to explore the logistical or political issues in how these problems could be/should be solved because it frankly doesn't matter. It seems to me that those of us in the industrialized nations collectively lack the compassion, creativity and will power to eradicate these issues. Worse still, we actually benefit from their suffering in various ways (ever wonder how you got that cell phone for under a hundred dollars or that Old Navy T-shirt for 5 bucks?)
So, what are we doing about this? Sure, we can continue to write off checks to Oxfam or other organizations (and I'd suggest you do so, as well)....but what else? I talk about global and local poverty in my class, I try to include social justice in my teaching at the church. We do some volunteer work from time to time here in San Antonio...but still....What am I going to do about this? How can we help this desperate situation?
Before I go further I want to make it clear we're not adopting because we want to accomplish a great charitable act. We don't think of this as our "good deed" or are looking for a pat on the back. Having said that, I believe our concerns for global poverty did help motivate us towards this decision.
Many claim that international adoption only props up the system of inequity. Some claim that many children that are internationally adopted are often "stolen" or given to agencies for money. We take both of these concerns seriously.
We want to select an agency that has a spotless record of legal adoption. We will not select an organization that pays mothers for their babies. That's one issue that I have several questions about to potential agencies when we get further into the process. I also agree in the inherent tragic circumstances that results in a mother giving her child up. I believe a mother should never be forced to give up a child because of poverty. However, the fact remains it happens frequently.
I often tell my students that we should "do what we can, when we can" - meaning we might not individually end global poverty but that we can take steps within our means. While we will be advocates for systemic change we also recognize that right now there are children that need homes. We want to take responsibility for our piece of this puzzle in solving global poverty. We want to raise our son (yes, son) to be an advocate for his home country. We want to help change the world by changing one situation.
Well, I've written a lot but I haven't finished just yet. In the next entry I will write on the role that our faith has played into our decision.
As a little brother I was always on the look out for what was "fair". "Shannon got the front seat last time - that's not fair!" "Shannon's been on the phone for an hour - it's not fair!" As I grew older, my concern for fairness changed out of just selfish gain and grew to become a passion for justice for the world around me. As I became educated and grew more aware at the inequities of the global economic system it disturbed and angered me.
A few months back when praying with Claire, I asked for God to help us heal this broken world. Claire immediately interrupted the prayer and said, "Dad, the world isn't broken." I had to be the first to tell her that this world isn't as it should be. I explained that there were many sad and terrible things going on, even as we prayed. You might just think this is a nice example about a child's innocence, but for most of us the immediate world around us "isn't" broken. We're quite comfortable in our air conditioned homes, flat screen HDTV's and wireless internet. Most of us go to sleep well-fed (or over-fed) in our comfortable beds. There is a disconnect between our reality and the reality as experienced by most of our neighbors around the world.
For most of the world, life is hard and frequently, an unforgiving place. I thought about copying and pasting world poverty statistics but sometimes numbers can numb us or even paralyze us with fear that the problem is too big to solve. However, if you are curious about global hunger and global poverty there are many fine web sites that are just a click away, like Oxfam or UNICEF.
To sum up the situation:
Billions of people live on the edge....a minor emergency or loss of a job might crash them into abject poverty.
Billions live without physical security, health care, or basic human and worker rights.
Millions don't know if they will be able to eat today, many of them surviving and living in landfills.
Thousands of children around the world die every single day from hunger or lack of clean water.
Hundreds of thousands, if not over a million of children reside in poverty-stricken countries and are in need of food, education, and most of all, love and hope from two parents that can provide the basics for their lives.
I believe these facts should be unacceptable to all of us. I don't really want to explore the logistical or political issues in how these problems could be/should be solved because it frankly doesn't matter. It seems to me that those of us in the industrialized nations collectively lack the compassion, creativity and will power to eradicate these issues. Worse still, we actually benefit from their suffering in various ways (ever wonder how you got that cell phone for under a hundred dollars or that Old Navy T-shirt for 5 bucks?)
So, what are we doing about this? Sure, we can continue to write off checks to Oxfam or other organizations (and I'd suggest you do so, as well)....but what else? I talk about global and local poverty in my class, I try to include social justice in my teaching at the church. We do some volunteer work from time to time here in San Antonio...but still....What am I going to do about this? How can we help this desperate situation?
Before I go further I want to make it clear we're not adopting because we want to accomplish a great charitable act. We don't think of this as our "good deed" or are looking for a pat on the back. Having said that, I believe our concerns for global poverty did help motivate us towards this decision.
Many claim that international adoption only props up the system of inequity. Some claim that many children that are internationally adopted are often "stolen" or given to agencies for money. We take both of these concerns seriously.
We want to select an agency that has a spotless record of legal adoption. We will not select an organization that pays mothers for their babies. That's one issue that I have several questions about to potential agencies when we get further into the process. I also agree in the inherent tragic circumstances that results in a mother giving her child up. I believe a mother should never be forced to give up a child because of poverty. However, the fact remains it happens frequently.
I often tell my students that we should "do what we can, when we can" - meaning we might not individually end global poverty but that we can take steps within our means. While we will be advocates for systemic change we also recognize that right now there are children that need homes. We want to take responsibility for our piece of this puzzle in solving global poverty. We want to raise our son (yes, son) to be an advocate for his home country. We want to help change the world by changing one situation.
Well, I've written a lot but I haven't finished just yet. In the next entry I will write on the role that our faith has played into our decision.
God-incidence
I heard this word on another blog where the women was making reference to all the times she saw God's hand in her life. I certainly don't believe in a coincidence so I love this word! Over the past three months I've had a ton of God-incidences and I'd love to write them down so I can remember them!
The first and most specific and vivid happened back on January 11th. God put me at the right place at the right time! A few weeks before was when I first came across a blog called "Our Hearts are in Ethiopia". Neil and I started following it as they had just gotten back with their first baby boy. My best friend Kate was the mother's roomate in college for one year and I had met her at least once a loooooooong time ago. But I still felt connected knowing someone mutual =) Through her blog I learned that Ethiopia adoption was growing and becoming more common. I went to a ton of blogs from theirs to read a lot of people's stories. I was growing fascinated by the country and loving these dark brown eyes I was seeing over and over again. On January 10th I remember thinking "We could be these people! We could really adopt from Ethiopia." Wondering what kind of community they had in San Antonio, I searched but didn't find much of anything.
Ok.... now onto Jan 11th. Claire had her first swim lesson that day and as I was getting Claire ready for her lesson (in the wrong area mind you), I overheard a woman telling one of the coaches that they were going to be missing lessons. They were traveling to Ethiopia to pick up their daughter they just adopted. WHAT?! Did I hear her correctly? So once I got Claire in the right place, I told the lady that I didn't mean to listen but heard she was adopting from Ethiopia. We talked about their story for a little bit. They started their process adopting from Taiwan but switched about a year ago. She was in a rush to get out so she gave me her email, blog site and phone number. I've been following their blog ever since and I've never seen her at lessons again. So cool.... God really encouraged me through this meeting with a total stranger that I felt oddly connected to. They are now back with Evie and adjusting with having three kiddos under the age of 5.
Well, because the earthquake in Haiti happened that week, there was a TON of adoption talk all around the media. Every time I turned the TV or radio on they were wondering what was happening to all the kids. I saw a special on Oprah, GMA and a 20 minute segment on Dr. Phil - that's a huge amount of time to discuss adoption in Haiti. All this kept coming at me for about three weeks and every time I learned something new. Something else to consider or pray about.
Jan. 26th I started corresponding with Sara Matheny when I found out they were wanting to start the adoption process too! I was so excited to know someone personally who was going through things now and to exchange some research. They were looking at two of the agencies I was really looking into and even considering Ethiopia. Sara and her hubby Philip went to church with us way back BC (Before Claire). They were just expecting their first so I guess that was almost 5 years ago.
I've been so overwhelmed with reading and asking for agency packets from everywhere trying to see which one is the best for us. It's so hard. I feel pulled to different ones for different reasons. AGCI is one that I feel emotionally tied to because it is the agency that "Our Hearts" used and it was my first agency to really learn about. They have a wonderful program from what I read and they have been so good about following up with me with a phone call and now with two emails seeing if we need help or have questions. I like that. So... Feb. 22nd I went to work. I walked into the choir room and Dianna said "First of all, we are all God's children...." Yes, she said that in a public school =) She was having on of her heart to hearts with the 7th graders. Basicly telling them we are all equal. And as I'm trying to get everything ready for lessons and wave my first student down to come to me, she said "I hope you adopt this idea...." It caught my ear and I thought how weird is that? I don't know what it all means but I know God works through people. I'm not basing any decision off of it but I do find it interesting and a fun story!
There are other little things here and there. A song that comes on the radio. A new campaign on KLOVE about meeting the needs of the oppressed. Mostly it's something that I read on another blog... I could go on and on.
I love it when I see His hand and prints all over our lives and I especially love sharing what He is doing in our hearts. Just the past week I feel like we've probably made the decision to go with Ethiopian adoption we just haven't officially made it so! We just speak as if that's what's going to happen! I'm getting so excited!
The first and most specific and vivid happened back on January 11th. God put me at the right place at the right time! A few weeks before was when I first came across a blog called "Our Hearts are in Ethiopia". Neil and I started following it as they had just gotten back with their first baby boy. My best friend Kate was the mother's roomate in college for one year and I had met her at least once a loooooooong time ago. But I still felt connected knowing someone mutual =) Through her blog I learned that Ethiopia adoption was growing and becoming more common. I went to a ton of blogs from theirs to read a lot of people's stories. I was growing fascinated by the country and loving these dark brown eyes I was seeing over and over again. On January 10th I remember thinking "We could be these people! We could really adopt from Ethiopia." Wondering what kind of community they had in San Antonio, I searched but didn't find much of anything.
Ok.... now onto Jan 11th. Claire had her first swim lesson that day and as I was getting Claire ready for her lesson (in the wrong area mind you), I overheard a woman telling one of the coaches that they were going to be missing lessons. They were traveling to Ethiopia to pick up their daughter they just adopted. WHAT?! Did I hear her correctly? So once I got Claire in the right place, I told the lady that I didn't mean to listen but heard she was adopting from Ethiopia. We talked about their story for a little bit. They started their process adopting from Taiwan but switched about a year ago. She was in a rush to get out so she gave me her email, blog site and phone number. I've been following their blog ever since and I've never seen her at lessons again. So cool.... God really encouraged me through this meeting with a total stranger that I felt oddly connected to. They are now back with Evie and adjusting with having three kiddos under the age of 5.
Well, because the earthquake in Haiti happened that week, there was a TON of adoption talk all around the media. Every time I turned the TV or radio on they were wondering what was happening to all the kids. I saw a special on Oprah, GMA and a 20 minute segment on Dr. Phil - that's a huge amount of time to discuss adoption in Haiti. All this kept coming at me for about three weeks and every time I learned something new. Something else to consider or pray about.
Jan. 26th I started corresponding with Sara Matheny when I found out they were wanting to start the adoption process too! I was so excited to know someone personally who was going through things now and to exchange some research. They were looking at two of the agencies I was really looking into and even considering Ethiopia. Sara and her hubby Philip went to church with us way back BC (Before Claire). They were just expecting their first so I guess that was almost 5 years ago.
I've been so overwhelmed with reading and asking for agency packets from everywhere trying to see which one is the best for us. It's so hard. I feel pulled to different ones for different reasons. AGCI is one that I feel emotionally tied to because it is the agency that "Our Hearts" used and it was my first agency to really learn about. They have a wonderful program from what I read and they have been so good about following up with me with a phone call and now with two emails seeing if we need help or have questions. I like that. So... Feb. 22nd I went to work. I walked into the choir room and Dianna said "First of all, we are all God's children...." Yes, she said that in a public school =) She was having on of her heart to hearts with the 7th graders. Basicly telling them we are all equal. And as I'm trying to get everything ready for lessons and wave my first student down to come to me, she said "I hope you adopt this idea...." It caught my ear and I thought how weird is that? I don't know what it all means but I know God works through people. I'm not basing any decision off of it but I do find it interesting and a fun story!
There are other little things here and there. A song that comes on the radio. A new campaign on KLOVE about meeting the needs of the oppressed. Mostly it's something that I read on another blog... I could go on and on.
I love it when I see His hand and prints all over our lives and I especially love sharing what He is doing in our hearts. Just the past week I feel like we've probably made the decision to go with Ethiopian adoption we just haven't officially made it so! We just speak as if that's what's going to happen! I'm getting so excited!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
A new chapter
I'm getting so excited about this new chapter of our lives. Right now I still feel on the outside. I read blogs pretty much everyday and read the stories of others. I see this community that those who have adopted all belong to and it is amazing. Supportive. HUGE!
One day soon we will become PART of this community. I've worried about how people will respond but then I get reassured knowing there is a whole world of adoption supporters out there just waiting to welcome us! It's funny because the chapter of kids started almost 4 years ago but this time it'll be a new chapter. Another child yes but the way this experience will change and teach our entire family will make it different. Something I've heard over and over again is that the families almost benefit more than the kiddos do. This child brought to our home will teach us so much and I just can't wait!
One day soon we will become PART of this community. I've worried about how people will respond but then I get reassured knowing there is a whole world of adoption supporters out there just waiting to welcome us! It's funny because the chapter of kids started almost 4 years ago but this time it'll be a new chapter. Another child yes but the way this experience will change and teach our entire family will make it different. Something I've heard over and over again is that the families almost benefit more than the kiddos do. This child brought to our home will teach us so much and I just can't wait!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Learning the terms
While researching some grant ideas with Shohannah's Hope, it says that the agency we are working with must be a 501(c)(3). Had now idea what that meant so here is a link:
What does it mean to be a 501(c)(3)?
501 meaning they are more charitable, educational or religious
c - list of the exempt organizations
3 - organization operating for a bunch of different things but I specificly saw religious and prevention of cruelty to animals
Now was does it mean to be Hague accredited? (Buckner is actually both)
Hague Accreditation establishes safeguards to ensure intercountry adoption occurs in the best interest of children and families with the highest of integrity and ethics in practice. It is expected that The Hague will be in full force by April 2008.
-America’s commitment on a global level for providing protection and best practice in adoption of the world’s children.
Shohannah's link for adoption grant info including a list of 501(c)(3) agencies. This page also gives idea for other ways to fund an adoption including other organizations that award grants and have small loans.
What does it mean to be a 501(c)(3)?
501 meaning they are more charitable, educational or religious
c - list of the exempt organizations
3 - organization operating for a bunch of different things but I specificly saw religious and prevention of cruelty to animals
Now was does it mean to be Hague accredited? (Buckner is actually both)
Hague Accreditation establishes safeguards to ensure intercountry adoption occurs in the best interest of children and families with the highest of integrity and ethics in practice. It is expected that The Hague will be in full force by April 2008.
-America’s commitment on a global level for providing protection and best practice in adoption of the world’s children.
Shohannah's link for adoption grant info including a list of 501(c)(3) agencies. This page also gives idea for other ways to fund an adoption including other organizations that award grants and have small loans.
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